If Only Today I Could Sleep...

[fifthdream]

Well, if i can't have winter, at lest i get thunderstorms.

Surveys, and i'm too sleep-deprived to be too filter-y with my answers, so you may get a rare glimpse into my real head.

20 deep questions that could really tell you something.
[ Not simple questions like "How Old Are You?" ]

1. Is it difficult for you to look into someone's eyes when you are telling them how you feel?:
Yes, very. But it's difficult for me to do that at all. I tend to look at the beginning, and end of what i'm saying. During, my eyes wander. But if i'm trying to tell you something - you know? Give you a sign non-verbally... - I'll try really hard to look into your eyes, cuz i usually can't do it with words.

2. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You get enough time to make ONE phone call. Who would you call?:
Wait, FROM Hawaii TO Chicago? What kinda weird thing is going on here? Anyway, i call family.

4. You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live.

(A) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die?
(B) What do you do with your remaining days?
(C) Would you be afraid?

I have no idea what i'd do. Probably try to rush through telling certain people certain things i've always been too paralyzed to say before.

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love.
Trust. It's actually more rare than love, and i've been without love long enough that i may as well pretend i'm used to it.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
Okay so robot dog Takkun is is falling head first to the bottom of the water off the embankment i sit on every day after school with my transient girlfriend watching the sunset? I wait, a girl in a white dress will save the dog. Then i scream "I'M LATE!" shove a piece of toast in my mouth and runrunrun all the way to work, knocking down countless uniformed school kids on the way.

7. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
I want to visit a few places in Japan, then just end up in Tokyo and just get lost and stay...

8. Think of the last person who you really knew that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do You?


9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
Yeah, actually. As horrible as it sounds, the world would be a better place if more people were like me. Not a lot would get done, but it'd hurt a lot less.

11. Your best friend dies, what would you do?
Enough of these questions.

12. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt?
This morning. I confronted someone. Well, not confronted, but let something just be said without worrying. And i think it did a lot of good. Or, i'll know once my nerves stop burning and my heart settles down. But yeah, after that it was kinda one of those rare bits of time where i didn't hold back, and, if i didn't actually say anything overtly, i acted certain ways that i don't, often. It felt good.

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you don't love them back?
I hardly tell anyone that i love them. I keep it to myself until they tell me first. So that also negates the other situation. I think i've had to tell one person ever that i didn't feel the same, and they already knew.

14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
Breathing.

15. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Ehh, i probably said it to Darla sometime within the last year. ;P I mean, i know i've told her, but i dunno how long it's been. XD

16. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets", what would you change?
I gave up a bit too easily one time. I just had the feeling that "my" mind had already been made up for me, and nlothing i did would have changed that.

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking outside your window. who do you call?
Someone with a shovel.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
Depends on what they're dying of.

19. Are you old-fashioned?
In many ways, yes, in many other ways, no.

20. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heartbreak or have never loved before?
That whole "it's better to have loved and lost..." thing? No. It's a lie. Better to not know what you're missing. Ignorance is indeed bliss.

1. What was the highlight of your week?
Getting this bit of possible hope back? I put it away, i really have, i'm keeping it away until i can be sure i can let it out without losing it again.

2. Who's car were you in last?
My dad's. We went to one of those liquidation sales looking for computers. XD

3. When is the next time you will kiss someone?
How would i know?

4. What color shirt are you wearing?
Black.

5. Last movie you watched?
"The Last Starfighter".

6. Last thing you ate?
I ate a glazed chicken meal, then some cheese and crackers. I was so hungry this morning. Now i'm insanely thirsty.

7. Last thing you drank?
Iced tea, like a ton of it at once.

8. Where did you sleep last night?
I didn't. I haven't. I've had like 10 hours of sleep since like Friday, and 8 of that was at once. Loooong stretches of awake.

9. Are you happy right now?
I'm trying not to be, as odd as that sounds. I could be. I might be. But i don't want to let myself be yet.

10. What did you say last?
Ummm. Good question.

11. Where is your phone?
On the table under the table. <.< And yes, it's a land line.

12. What was the last museum you went to?
St. Louis Art Museum.

13. What color are your eyes?
Oliive green.

14. Who came over last?
Ashe.

15. Who/what do you hate/dislike currently?
Oh. I have someone in mind. >:D

16. What are you listening to?
[01/08/08 01:08:53pm] * FifthDream is streaming "Amy Winehouse - Rehab (bakalair.radio: LIVE with DJ megaplushie | Xbox LIVE Gamertag: megaplushie)".

17. If you could have one person right now with you who would it be?
If it happens, you'll know. Maybe.

18. What is your favorite store?
Um, one with books For sale. Actually the library. My sister gets like boxes full of books for like 10 cents each, then she goes through them and has stuff like a 50 year old copy of "I Am Legend" she got a year before we heard of the movie, etc. Also "The 300 Spartans: Now A Major Motion Picture By 20th Century Fox" from like 1964. Yes, it seems "300" was already a movie a long time ago.

19. Who makes you happiest right now?
Something i heard. Relieved-ish, if not "happy".

20. What were you doing at midnight last night?
[01/08/08 12:02:45am] <FifthDream> why is futurama still on?
[01/08/08 12:02:57am] <PDiddy> on comedy?
[01/08/08 12:03:14am] <FifthDream> yes, it's time for daily show

Apparently i was waiting for Daily Show to come on.

21. Are you left-handed?
Yes. And right-handed. Depends on what i'm doing.

22. What's for dinner tonight?
No idea.

23. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had?
I think i had rum like... years ago.

24. When is your birthday?
May 8. Buy me stuff and i'll love you however you like.

25. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
N/A.

26.When is the last time you were in a swimming pool?
Years ago.

27. Where was the last place you went shopping?
eBay.

28. How do you feel about your hair right now?
I don't, really.

29. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
No.

30. AIM or MSN?
AIM.

31. Where does most of your family live?
Illinois.

32. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
I have one of each.

33. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Not at all.

34. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
"Why am i awake? Why didn't my computer beep? HOLY JESUS I'M THIRSTY."

35. Myspace or Facebook?
MySpace.

36. Do you have T-Mobile?
No.

37. What is/was your favorite subject in school?
Um. Biology?

38. What type of guy/girl do you usually fall for?
Shortish thin ones or taller hippier ones, artistic/writers, music-loving, not "normal" in some way or another. At least that's how it's happened so far.

39. Do you have any talents?
Yes. I do.

40. Have you ever been IN a wedding?
No.

41. Did you take a nap today?
I guess you could call it that.

42. Ever met someone famous?
Yes, many, many famous people, actually

.43. Do you want to be famous one day?
Not really.

44. Are you multitasking right now?
Listening to a friend's stream, and the radio, and singing along, and filling out a survey, and chatting. Not really.

45. Could you handle being in the military??
No.

46. Do you believe in Karma?
Or something like it.

47. If your a female, what color are your nails?
Sexist.

48. What are your plans for tomorrow?
Um.

49. Favorite tv show?
Right now? Um. Blood+ is the only thing that's on anymore that i watch really. Not that that makes it not one of my favorites.

50. Ever been to another continent?
No.

51. Ever been to Las Vegas?
No.

52. What are you doing today?
See #44. I should find time for sleep, if i *can* sleep.

53. Have you ever been gambling?
No.

54. When is the last time you updated your blog?
When i posted this.

55. Have you been to New York City?
No, but i almost did.

56. Ever been to Disneyland/world?
Yes, when i was 5, which i guess is the best time to do so.

57. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Shin-chan.

58. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
I've never had one, so nothing.

59. Last time you were sick?
That one time a while back where looking at anything with a screen made me nearly throw up, and i just had to lay in bed and cover my face.

60. So how has your day been so far?
Oh. Interesting is a good word. Sleepless is another. I'm getting into that fun adrenaliney sleep-deprived listening to angry dark music and singing along mood.

1. Who was the last person you talked to in:
Person: My dad, i think, or my sister.
Texting: N/A.
Iming: My sister.
Phone: Darla.
Comments: Talked in? Rachelle maybe? I don't tend to talk in comments.
Messages: Hmm. Haven't had one of those in a while.

2. Do you think you're approachable?
Not at all. But feel free to force yourself upon me. I'll appreciate it.

3. Do you regret doing anything in the past weeK?
I didn't really do much.

4. What advice would you give to your ex's new love interest?
Hahahahahahaha. Hahah. Hahahhahahahaha. Hahahaha. Oh, God.

5. Are you a partier?
No.

6. What do you think of when you hear the word "slag"?
Molten metal.

7. What is your hair color?
Cardboard.

8. Have you been pressured to do anything recently?
Nope. Any pressure was my own.

9. Who's the sweetest person you know right now?
Darla. It's made me so happy to talk to her recently.

10. Are you upset?
Nope. Well. I wish i could have slept.

11. Do you like your name?
Yeah.

12. Is anyone interested in you right now?
Could be.

13. Who is the fifth text in your inbox from?
N/A.

14. Whats your favorite number?
Five.

15. Do you have a facebook?
Yes. Darla told me to sign up, i did, and never went back.

16. Do you hate anyone?
I kinda despise someone.

17. Whats your favorite munchie?
Depends on the day, and what's available, really.

18. When was the last time you went to the movies?
To see "Transformers", probably.

19. Are you a good speller?
Yes, and i pride myself on it.

20. Whats your worst habit?
Procrastination.

21. Are you listening to any music? what song?
[01/08/08 01:44:59pm] * FifthDream is listening to "Pink Maggit" by Deftones from the album "WhitePony (Ltd Ed.)". (07:38m/128Kbps/44KHz)

22. Would you ever give your number out over the internet?
I have many times.

23. If you could know when you were going to die, would you want to?
No, even if i knew when, i still wouldn't want to die. PLAY ON GRAMMAR FTW. ::Spikes the ball and celebrates.::

24. Do you love someone?
Yes, i do. My friends.

25. If you could have any superpowers, which would you choose and why?
Invulnerability so i could never be sick or injured. That's really the only power you need.

27. Do you have a favorite finger?
Oh, i don't know, but when i'm through, *YOU* will, baby. ...God that was sleazy. I love it.

28. Would you rather feel pain or be numb?
Be numb. By far.

29. Do you like competition?
Not at all. I see no need for it and no joy in it.

30. Would you ever stay with someone, just because you didnt want to be alone?
That's a luxury i've never had.

31. Have you ever taken anything/anyone for granted?
Probably.

32. Do you hate being alone?
Nah. But i'd probably prefer not to be, most times.

33. Has someone ever broken your heart?
Yes.

34. Who was the last person to send you a message?
N/A.

35. Last time you went swimming in a pool//hottub?
Years ago.

36. Where was the last place you went shopping?
eBay.

37. How do you feel about your hair?
Indifferent.

38. Who do you like? and why?
Um. Hm.

39. Last time you were hugged?
Whenever Ashe was here.

40. How is your heart?
Tentatively hopeful, or at least a bit relieved.