XII.

[fifthdream]

Today: Liked some songs. Saw someone naked. Got a good idea. Got a free movie. Read "Fruits Basket". Talked to a friend. Talked to a friend of a friend. Watched TV. Made rangoon. Ate rangoon. Took a shower. Watched TV. Filled out a survey. Made a post. Went to bed.

Here's that survey.

The Most Random Questions You Will Ever Fill Out

1.Have you had sex in the past 24 hours?
No, but i saw someone naked.

2.Are you gay?
Nope.

3.Do you have hairy legs?
Yes. I'm male.

4.Do you smoke anything?
Nope.

5.Do you like monkeys?
Not particularly. And as a supposed "random" device, "monkeys" are right up there with "poop" and "pie" on the STFUtroll-o-Meter.

6.How many fillings do you have?
Some.

7.Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Neither.

8.Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
No, i'm not lame like that.

9.Have you ever read the Bible?
Yep. Voluntarily, too.

10.Did you ever go to Sunday School?
Yes, i did.

11.Do you wear a lot of black?
Almost exclusively.

12.Did you ever bring a weapon to high school?
I brought lots of things that are considered weapons now.

13.Have you ever hugged a tree?
Probably. Kids do things like that.

14.Do you know what a sphincter actually is?
Yes. May i touch yours?

15.Describe your hair?
Cardboard-colored and in need of some taming.

16.Are you a wildebeast?
Are you effing stupid?

17.Do you like to have fun?
By definition, one could only like having fun.

18.Do you like drama?
Absolutely not. I avoid society simply because drama is the bane of my existence.

19.Have you ever taken a bong hit?
Have you ever heard of minding your own business?

20.Do you like mayonaise?
Yes, so much so that i spell it correctly: "mayonnaise".

21.Are you afraid to die?
More than a lot of things...

22.Do you like playing in leaves?
I did.

23.Do you like lyme tics?
Explain to me what the f*** a "lyme tic" is, and i'll tell you. Do you perhaps mean a "Lyme disease-infested tick"? And, if so, what a freaking stupid question.

24.Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
No, but if you like such things, i could possibly be persuaded to do so, just for you.

26.Are you an adult?
Yes.

27.Do you think you have a good handle on spelling?
I've been correcting yours the whole survey, so i'd say yes.

28.Ever won a spelling bee?
I was close.

29.Do you ever eat because your depressed?
"You're". And no. When i'm depressed, i don't eat.

30.Are you a television addict
In that i must watch the few shows i enjoy...

31.Do you think O.J. is guilty?:
I didn't watch the trial. I wasn't there. i'm not qualified to answer.

32.Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?:
That's not possible.

33.Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?
Not a hot tub, just a regular one.

34.On a swing?
"It feels like somebody with a fever is yelling at my pants! It's better than sitting sideways on a swing!"

35.Do you like Elvis?
Never met him.

36.Do you enjoy watching animals "do it" on the Discovery channel?
Not particularly.

37.Ever been hit on at the zoo?
Last time i was at the zoo, i was rather young, so... no.

38.Have you ever had sex with a total stranger?
Depends on how you define "stranger".

39.Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkey?
Do you enjoy my boot in your ass? Would you like to find out?

40.Does your mom think someones hot?
That's not possible.

41.Are you a sugar freak?
Yes. I use way too much of it.

42.When you hear a knock on the door, do you think "oh shit, is that the cops?
I don't hear knocks on the door.

43.Ever been arrested?:
Nope.

44.Ever commit a crime and gotten away with it, like O.J, did?:
Mmm, political agendas perpetrated by 14 year-old survey writers... How cute.

45.Actually, do you like orange juice?:
I don't hate it.

46.What sign are you?
Neon.

47.Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly?
What does that mean?

48.Where do you wish you were right now?:
With someone, somewhere.

49.Did you enjoy this?
No. You've managed to erase another chunk of the little faith in humanity i still had left.

50. Describe your favorite shirt.
I should wear my The Cure "Boys Don't Cry" shirt more.

P.S. You really really really want me to have this or this, so much, in fact, that you will buy if for me when it comes out on October 31 and consider it an early Christmas present.</Jedi Mind Trick>