Sci-Fi World Exhibit #7: Entropy Does Not Exist.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/sci/tech/2135779.stm

This is big. Basically the article says that the basic physical principle that entropy always increases has been disproven experimentally. Wow.

In the last little while, there have been a couple of basic principle of physics that have been disproven or deeply questioned. This make all the times i argued or disbelieved some theories of physics seem justified and vindicated. Maybe i'm not as crazy as i thought. Maybe i *do* know something. Cool.

0626pm07242002

Why can't i handle things better?

Why can't i have an easier time dealing?

Why do i just hold it in for days and let it all come out at once?

On the other hand.....

I'm amazed i handle things as well as i do.

Why am i having to deal with this at all?

Why shouldn't i just let it all out?

I'm torn between

A) the feeling that i must must must let my feelings be known

B) the feeling that i understand, and i get it, and i shouldn't feel this way

C) the feeling that i have every right to be feeling what i am

D) the feeling that i regret making things harder

E) the feeling that i can't help being like this, because, how else can i be right now?

I'm torn between

a) keeping to myself because it's wrong to burden others

b) feeling i have every right to express myself

c) feeling i have no right to say anything about anything

d) feeling i'm betraying my very being by not speaking up for myself, by not standing up for myself, by not sticking up for myself.

I am confused. I have several courses of action i can take, none of which i want. And, i feel betrayed that i am being forced to have to be making these choices at all.

I am sorry for many things. I am sorry for today. I am sorry for saying some things. I am sorry. I am truly sorry.

But for some things i'm not sorry... And for that, i am also sorry.

0658pm07242002

( Questions. )